hospitality Archives - Page 5 of 9 - Feathers in Our Nest

Hospitality Basics

June 27, 2013 by Aliesha

This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.

While you can certainly show hospitality on paper plates (I encourage doing this often!), it actually becomes more cost-effective over time to invest in some great dishes and serving pieces for showing hospitality. Here are my top picks for the basics! (I won’t call these essentials because you don’t have to have them in order to practice hospitality… but they are nice to collect over time!)

-Dishes
To start with, buy enough to serve as many people as your dining room will hold. (Work up to this over time if money is tight.) For me, this is sixteen. Sixteen people in my dining room is totally pushing it, but we’ve done it twice (once for a ladies Bible study dinner and once for a youth Christmas party). I recommend and use white Corelle dishes. I bought most of mine at an outlet store before we got married and the rest were a gift. I have two patterns (plain white and white with a raised swirl design), and no one cares that they aren’t a perfect match (I actually like the look!).

-Silverware
Buy enough to serve as many people as your dining room will hold. We received lovely flatware as a wedding present, and it is one of our most-used gifts!

-Glasses
Buy enough to serve as many people as your dining room will hold. I’m still working on getting up to sixteen matching glasses, but I have twelve that match plus another similar set I could use in a pinch. I like the $4.79/6 red wine glasses from IKEA. They are lovely for serving ice water and they are SO cheap that if one breaks it’s just no big deal.

-Bread basket
Useful for chips, bread, rolls, or buns, this can be as simple as a basket from the dollar store lined with a napkin, or it can be something fancier (handmade basket, fabric liner, etc.). I just use a simple basket lined with a colorful paper napkin.

-Serving platters
I’ve been collecting white serving platters so that I would have the appropriate sized plate/platter to serve food on. I love getting serving pieces as gifts, so I’ve acquired some that way as well.

-Serving dishes
I was blessed to receive a whole bunch of beautiful white serving/casserole dishes when we got married, so I definitely put those to work on a regular basis! Dishes with handles are great for serving meals family-style.

-Water pitcher
I like to leave the water pitcher on the table so that refills are easy. I have several beautiful pitchers that are appropriate for almost any gathering. I also have some plastic pitchers for more casual gatherings.

-Cloth or paper napkins
We use cloth napkins all the time at home, so I often use those when we have company too. But because some people aren’t used to using cloth napkins (and it causes parents of kids to stress out a little bit), I often use cute paper napkins too. This is a fun way to add some color or seasonal inspiration to your table!

-Trivets
I use swirly “wrought-iron” trivets and green woven trivets to keep hot dishes off the table. The woven trivets are useful for passing dishes as well, since they can act as a potholder.

-Tablecloths
Depending on your “style,” tablecloths can be a nice addition to your hospitality collection. I have a really
long table, so it’s a little harder to find tablecloths that are long enough. I have a few in neutral colors that I use regularly (the white one is my favorite), but I don’t always use a tablecloth.

-Decorative items
I like to have a pretty centerpiece on the table that is appropriate for the season and the occasion. I usually just utilize items I have on hand (candles, vases, a pretty cloth napkin, etc.). Sometimes I can afford to get some fresh flowers for the table. Of course, if you garden, you can use flowers more often than I can! In the fall I will use a pumpkin and some beautiful leaves. I like to bring in holly or evergreen branches in the wintertime. Get creative using what you have, but also watch for clearance sales after holidays when you can pick up pretty seasonal items on the cheap.

Here are a few of my favorite places to shop for the above items:
-IKEA (glasses, paper napkins, candles, vases)
-Ross (serving platters and dishes, tablecloths, decorative items)
-T.J. Maxx (baskets, serving platters and dishes, decorative items)
-Marshall’s (serving platters and dishes, decorative items)
-Home Goods (paper napkins, baskets, serving platters and dishes, pitchers, decorative items)
-Target (silverware, cloth napkins, serving dishes, pitchers, decorative items)
-Dollar Tree (baskets, woven trivets, some seasonal decorative items)

Where are your favorite places to shop for these hospitality basics?

Hospitality: The Conversation

June 26, 2013 by Aliesha

This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.

A reader submitted this question to me:

I wanted to put in a post request if I could — could you talk about what should actually occur during a get-together {besides eating}? Meaning, what should we talk about? And, how do you know the evening was a “success”? What is the goal or purpose of hospitality — other than giving of your time, resources, etc.? You touched on it a bit, but was hoping you could go into a bit more detail. In particular, you talked about building community and sharing our lives. Do you have any thoughts on when your guests don’t reciprocate with an invitation to their homes or when you just rarely see them after they’ve come over and the “building” and “sharing” stop?

Great questions!

What should we talk about?
If it’s a family/individual/couple you don’t know very well, start with basic “get-to-know you” questions. Examples: Where did you grow up? For a couple: How did you meet? What is your occupation? What are some of your hobbies? What books are you reading? What brought you to such-and-such church? Where did you grow up? Do you have siblings?
Learn to engage people and ask good follow-up questions. Keep them talking! As your relationship progresses, you can ask deeper questions.
Examples: What are some lessons God taught you through ___ (parenting, job, ministry, etc.)? Of parents: Do you have any parenting advice for me regarding ___ (an issue you’re currently dealing with with your kids)? What is God currently teaching you?
Something my parents have done over the years is ask: How can we be praying for you? as the evening draws to a close. Whether you have a prayer time at the end of your visit is up to you, but just asking this simple question can really help you get to a deeper level with the people you are showing hospitality towards. I know I need to be more intentional about doing this!

How do you know the evening was a “success”?
If you’re just starting out showing hospitality, just doing it is a success! But regarding the conversation, I would say that if you feel like you’ve gotten to know the other person or family better during the evening, it is a success. If you have been a blessing to someone else, it is a success.

What is the goal of hospitality?
I think there are several goals of hospitality. First, it demonstrates obedience to God’s command. Secondly, it should be a blessing to the recipient. They should feel Christ’s love in a tangible, physical way. Thirdly, we want hospitality to be a vehicle through which we share our lives with one another. By asking how we can pray for one another, we are opening up our hearts and sharing what’s truly going on. This is something that rarely happens on a Sunday morning chatting after church, but can happen in our homes because of the comfort level and lack of time restraints.

What if they don’t reciprocate?
Sometimes you’ll “click” better than other times. It’s okay if you get together with someone once but they don’t invite you over in return. We give in order to bless others, not to receive something back. If there is a strong connection, it’s fine to invite them again even if they haven’t invited you to their home. This is more about biblical love than about social convention.

Your turn… what are some questions you like to ask people when getting to know them better?

Hospitality Interview #2

May 15, 2013 by Aliesha

This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.

Today my mom is sharing with us some wonderful tips for showing hospitality! She, like my mother-in-law, has years of experiencing practicing the art of showing hospitality. I know you’ll get some great ideas from this guest post!

Thank you for including me in your series on hospitality! I do think it is an important area in God’s eyes and in the life of our church families.

Tell me a little bit about some of the ways you currently practice hospitality.

Having graduated our last child from our homeschool in spring of 2012, I am now a full-time homemaker, mom of one community college student who lives at home, of one college student who is away at school, and of one daughter who is married and mother to our sweet grand-girlies.

My husband works out of our home and has a very erratic (or shall we say, “flexible”!) schedule, and is always coming and going. Though my days are still quite full of service and projects and meals and laundry (some things don’t change!) , I do praise God for this new season of my life which affords me time to invest in the lives of others in ways that were more limited when I was educating my children full time.

Some of the ways I currently practice hospitality: (and, again, I am at a season where I can do more)

Taking meals to those who have been hospitalized, are moving or who have new babies
Having couples and families from our church over for dinner
Extending hospitality to my sons’ friends/roommates (including Phillip’s Malaysian roommate, who has spent several of his school breaks with us 😉
Keeping the children of some of our church leaders so they can have a date night
Hosting ladies’ events like baby showers, special birthday gatherings and luncheons
Having a friend over for lunch
(and soon, I hope) having one friend-couple over for a really nice dinner on an evening when our son attends a Bible study

How does this look different NOW than it did when your children were small?

First of all, a little-known fact (except by those who know me well), I do not attempt to keep an immaculate house. I seek to keep an organized house…and sometimes succeed for a short time…then I have to start all over! I seek mainly to meet the need of the moment. If there are some children to babysit or have over, I throw a big quilt over my messy craft table and area, so they aren’t tempted to get into it. If there are outside-of-the-home commitments for a short season, other things may fall apart for while..and then I have to take care of them. I try to have our home serve us…rather than be a slave to our home and its upkeep.

So, that attitude has allowed me to practice hospitality even when my house was not perfectly clean or neat. ‘Cuz I’m sure it never was–at least not all of it! I don’t give house tours when people come over. (In fact, I’d really rather not even give house tours when selling our house!!)

I do think it is important (both for your family’s sake) and to encourage you to have others over to have some sort of cleaning schedule…to that the basics (vacuuming, floors, bathrooms) get taken care of weekly (or as close to that as you can manage.) And, to continually think about problem areas in your home and how you can fix them/make them better. I highly recommend The Messy’s Manual by Felton, Clutter’s Last Stand by Don Aslett and the flylady site. Remember…if something doesn’t have a function in your home or add to its beauty, you probably need to get rid of it!

In some ways (as I ponder and look back), it actually seems like it was easier to have people over when the children were pre-schoolers, than once life gets busier with school and extracurricular activities. And, easier as far as energy when you are 28 than when you are 50-something.;-) I guess what I want to say is that there will always be challenges to having folks over and you have to try to overcome those challenges…and sometimes just wait for things to even out so you can start having people over once again. (My daughter was bemoaning not having many people over in Jan thru March…I reminded her she was enduring her first trimester of pregnancy during that time and that taking care of her hubby and babies was enough!!)

I know that the last few years of homeschooling were incredibly busy for us…and me in particular, and we did not have whole families over very much. We hosted our children’s friends, and we had couples and extended family over…and we fellowshipped with friends in other venues besides our home (soccer games, church dinners, sometimes dessert in a restaurant), but hospitality was a little different during those years than in past years.

Right now, I am painting our family room and the basement is close to a disaster. I am just hoping that the painting and, then, re-organizing goes well and quickly since I have several things coming up (a baby shower for a close friend, family visiting in early June, my son coming home from college, etc) and I am anxious to get this project done. I can’t foresee having any families over till it is done…but we might be able to do the couples dinner.

My main counsel is “Keep it simple” and “Just do it” — ‘cuz you’ll be glad you did!! Many of our closest relationships come from having those people in our home. Let people love you for who you really are in this season…dirt in the corners at times, toys strewn across the floor, hamburgers instead of steaks, paper plates instead of fine china….and enjoy those you want to get to know!!

Entertaining enslaves…it seeks to impress…it demands perfection. Hospitality puts away pride…it seeks to serve…it puts people before things. It says, “We don’t have a big table…can we eat with our plates on our laps?” Hospitality whispers “What is mine, is yours.” ***

What is one of your most memorable gatherings/parties/times of fellowship? What made it special?

Can I give a few instead of just one??!

Hosting our son’s college roommate (who is a piano major who is from Malaysia) for almost all of his college breaks for the last two years. Having another person in your home can be a challenge (we had previously hosted young men in the summer from France and also Spain, so we knew a little of what that can be like)…but we have experienced great joy in getting to know Caeleb…and ALSO his parents (through email) They even pray for us!! How cool is that?! We now feel that we have “family” on the other side of the world…and we hope they feel that way also. We have enjoyed the lovely music Caeleb has shared with us (his is an accomplished pianist!), we have enjoyed getting to know about his country and culture and, most importantly, we have enjoyed getting to know HIM. He is a neat young man with a heart for serving and seeking God and it has been a privilege from God to host him. A BIG blessing that we could’ve missed out on if we weren’t willing to s-t-r-e-t-c-h a little.

Next, as far as memorable and special would have to be some ladies’ teas/luncheons that have been very special in my life (one my daughter and hubby gave for me) and in the lives of some close friends. I love girly things like decorated tables, china teacups, favors and petit fours!! True treasure-times! Milestone birthdays deserve SPECIAL celebrations!

Two incredibly wonderful memories from Aliesha’s high school years are:

A MYSTERY DINNER for her (15th?) Birthday–Written up on this site (scroll down and look on along the right-hand side for “Benzinger”) We had SUCH a fun evening…complete with a four-course meal!!

ALIESHA’S GRADUATION PARTY

We had a day-long party with beloved adult friends from our church, family and out-of-town friends, and then, in the evening an outdoor picnic with a whole bunch of her friends. We had lovely spring weather, volleyball, yummy foods and great fellowship with the sweet young people with whom Aliesha was friends. A truly “magical” day!

“Everyday” memories include sweet friends who share their heart over coffee or late into the night when they are visiting from out of town. Games played with other families….boys (and their Dad) running through the house shooting NERF guns….crafts done with little friends….prayers prayed with those we love.

WHAT a GIFT God gives us when we open our homes!!

What advice would you give for showing hospitality while on a budget?

Don’t feel as if you have to make all the food. Take people up when they offer to bring something—OR just ask them even if they don’t offer! Think of having people over as something worth sacrificing other things for. (It’s probably around the price of two movie tickets…or a new DVD or CD.) Pray for God to provide what you need (He delights in doing that!) Keep your menus simple. You can have wonderful times of fellowship with inexpensive menus!!

What are some of your “tried and true” menu ideas for gatherings/meals in your home?

Try to serve as much as you can that you can make ahead, so that right before people come, you won’t be quite so busy. I often make an extra lasanga or cassole when I am making one, so I can stick one in the freezer.

When the children were younger, we would have several families each bring a large dish and we would provide the main dish and ice cream/dessert.

Shish kabobs & rice; Spaghetti/Lasagna & salad and bread; Soups/Casseroles/Chili & Bread; Hamburgers/Cheesy Potatoes; Mexican/Tacos/Red Beans & Rice are all good menu choices.

Grilled meat, baked potatoes, and salad make a lovely and easy meal.

Pork BBQ, Potato Salad (or chips), fresh veggies, dessert.

Baked potatoes with chili and toppings…brownies and ice cream for dessert.

How about just an ice cream-and-games night?

How about just a popcorn and dessert night? (I hear my hubby saying a hearty “AMEN!”)

How about a breakfast menu night, complete with pancakes?

Do you have any other pieces of wisdom you’d like to share with the younger women reading this blog?

I just encourage each of you to make time and effort for the PEOPLE in your life that God has given you to invest in and to encourage. People are ETERNAL! PRAY with those who you have over!! God will knit your hearts tightly together!

You will not regret the energy and time you take to extend hospitality (even if you are like me and delight more in creative activities OUTside of the kitchen.) Read tips from those experienced in hospitality and learn from them! Start small…start simple…pray that God leads you and blesses your efforts…God never asks us to do something without equipping us!! JUST DO IT!

Here is a great book on hospitality: Open Heart, Open Home by Karen Burton Mains

Excerpt from this book:

When I look at hospitality as practiced in the Word, I have a convicting sense of open homes–open lives, shared tables, ready comfort for weary travelers wandering on dangerous missions in their work for the Kingdom. The theme begins in the early records of the church, “And, day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they partook of food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people.” (Acts 2:46, 47)

Thank you so much, Mom, for sharing your wisdom and practical advice with us today!!