Feathers in Our Nest

a blog about faith, family, food, & more written by a wife and stay at home mom of five

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Connectedness

June 26, 2015 by Aliesha

ranunculusHave you ever had this thought?

Other women are more connected than I am.

Or variations on the above:

Other women have more friends than I do. Other women aren’t lonely the way I am. Other women have closer, more meaningful relationships than I do.

I am finding, the more women I meet, that women everywhere long to have deeper friendships with other like-minded women, and to be challenged by them in their roles and wives, moms, and Christian women.

It’s really easy to sit at home waiting for an invitation to get together with someone, while the truth is many women are longing to form relationships with other women in their churches and communities. Someone has to make the first move!

We tend to think that other women are busier than we are and have more thriving social lives.  Or we’re too caught up in our own busyness to realize that there’s a woman at our own church who is longing to get connected.

So whether you are feeling lonely or have lots of friendships with other women, make a call this weekend.  Invite another woman to a play date, a Bible study, or out to coffee.  Plan a girls’ night out.  Welcome the new family at church over for dinner. Send an encouraging card or email.

Stop waiting for the phone to ring (or vibrate… mine is always on vibrate!). Get connected today and start reaping the benefits of friendships with other women.

Filed Under: friends, thoughts

Being Kind is Better than Being Pretty

September 3, 2014 by Aliesha

Proverbs 31:26, “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

Proverbs 11:22, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.”

My girls are beautiful; there’s no doubt about it.  And of course I want them to grow up with a healthy body image (and by that I mean that they are grateful for the body and features God gave them and they know God fashioned them in a unique way), but there is so much more to life than feeling pretty!

Vera (age 3 at the time) was standing in front of the mirror several months ago, smoothing her hair, fixing her dress, and turning around to see herself from different angles.

“Do you think I look pretty?” she asked.
“Of course you do, honey!  You look beautiful,” I responded.

But then I added:
“Do you know what is more important than being pretty?”
“What?” she asked.
“Being kind.”

I then explained to her that while her daddy and I think she is so pretty, what we (and God) value more is when she is kind to her sister and brother.  I told her that when we’re kind to others it actually makes us even more beautiful, and that even really pretty girls who are mean and unkind don’t seem all that pretty to others.

Growing up, my parents certainly told me I was beautiful, but that was not their primary emphasis.  I was encouraged MUCH more in godly character, perseverance, kindness, and obedience.  I learned at a young age that our character is what matters to the Lord, not our outward appearance.

We continue to teach these principles to Vera and Cordelia, and I’ve even started a new little phrase in our house to help them remember what is important.

“That’s SO pretty!” I’ll say when Vera shares with Jude, or I’ll ask, “Vera, wasn’t that pretty?” when Cordelia brings Vera a stuffed animal when she is sad.  It’s catching on at our house!

Little girls (and big girls too!) should know that being kind is better than being pretty!

Filed Under: encouragement, parenting, thoughts

Supermom

May 24, 2012 by Aliesha

There have been a lot of posts in the blogosphere about “mommy wars” lately… i.e., when moms compare themselves to other moms and either 1) try really hard to keep up with and measure up to what they perceive to be the standard of “what good moms do,” or they 2) wallow in a hopeless state, feeling like they could never possibly achieve what other moms they know (through blogs or real life) seem to do with ease.

I personally tend more towards the first pitfall.  I think that my house should look like Sherry’s, that I should be able to write amazing posts like Kate, that I should take gorgeous photos of my children like Drea, and that I should make super-healthy real food like Wardeh or Lisa that tastes as delicious as Ree’s cooking.  Meanwhile, my living room should look magazine-worthy like Nester’s, and I should be creating clever projects like Jen, Ashley, and Laura.  When I start homeschooling, it should look as idyllic as Ann’s days and be as fun and hands-on as Kelly’s. 

Two other friends of mine posted recently about some of the areas where they aren’t perfect.  In keeping with that theme of honesty, here are some ways I’m not “supermom” either:

– I have a love/hate relationship with sewing; I love the results, but hate the process. I usually cry at least once when working on a sewing project.
– I can’t keep plants alive. I really can’t understand why someone would enjoy gardening.
– I don’t vacuum. (Tad does. But usually we only think about it when company is coming over.)
– I am terrible at keeping in touch with anyone who is not sitting next to me at this very moment. I wish I were better at maintaining friendships.
– In the two years (!) we have lived at this house, I have not once cleaned my oven.
– I honestly cannot remember the last time I cleaned our shower.
– Speaking of showers, I don’t get to take one every day!
– I get ants in my kitchen sometimes. Having a toddler makes our floor an ant smorgasbord, so I can’t say I’m surprised. 
– For some reason, I feel a strong need to save every empty toilet paper tube. I have some hoarding tendencies, I think.
– I’m really bad at getting stains out of clothing.
– I rarely coupon.
– I have never been able to successfully do a Citra-solv fabric transfer, even though it seems like every other blogger in the world has.
– I will do everything humanly possible to avoid ironing. (I have ironed hems with my hair straightener to avoid dragging out my iron and board.)
– We sometimes get fast food or takeout when life is really busy (or I really don’t want to cook).

Some of these areas are ones that I need to work on.  (Friendships are important. Keeping a home that won’t end up on Hoarders is important.)  Other areas are ones that I probably need to let go of and realize that I can’t excel at everything.  (Maybe sewing just isn’t my thing.)

I also need to let go of unreal expectations that are mostly self-inflicted.  I can’t possibly do all of the things accomplished by every woman on the blogs I read.  That’s because no one does.  All of those amazing, talented women I mentioned have their own strengths and abilities, and you and I have ours as well.

The sooner we all realize that, the sooner the “mommy wars” can end.

Filed Under: blog, thoughts

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This blog shares our family's story and our journey from newlyweds to a family of seven. We share milestones, we share struggles, we share sweet memories, and we share about our Savior. Keep reading...

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