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Today I want to share with you a piece of our story… something which I have not blogged about yet.  In the whirlwind of having a baby and trying to stay afloat in the midst of this “storm,” I haven’t found the right words to share it.

Earlier this year, Tad began to sense from God that it was time to move on from his current ministry position as a youth pastor, and into the direction of planting a church.  He entered into a residency program at a nearby church where he would be trained to go out and plant a new church in the next 1-2 years.  When he entered the residency program, we were still serving at our current church.

Over the summer, he began to fund-raise support for his new ministry (church planting) since the residency was unpaid.  At the end of the summer (August 25… the week before Jude’s due date), Tad resigned from the youth pastor position (on good terms) with three months of pay/severance.  We had faith that God would help us raise the rest of the needed funds for the residency program over those three months.

The following week, Tad was released from the residency program (not due to any sin or failing on his part) and told that he would need to wait a while longer before reentering the program.  The leaders at the new church wanted us to be a part of their church for a time (to observe a healthy church plant, serve, etc.) before being in the residency.

In our eyes, the timing could not have been worse.  I was one day overdue with our third child, Tad was suddenly unemployed from two churches within two weeks, and we had no idea where to go or what to do.  We had so, so many questions, and so much hurt and anger.

Even now, I can’t write this without the tears flowing again.

Today we receive our last paycheck from the severance package, and our insurance runs out this month.

I wish I had a neatly tied-up ending for you.  But right now, we still don’t know what God has in store for our future ministry.

Currently, Tad is doing online freelance writing, virtual assistant jobs, computer repair, and waiting tables at a restaurant.  He’s working so hard to take care of our family (9+ hours/day, 6 days/week), and we are grateful for the work God has seen fit to give him.  We pray that God would continue to provide for us and grow Tad’s freelance work opportunities.

These few months have been tumultuous.  I’ve at times felt seasick from the ups and downs of the storm and being thrown across the deck of the ship.  It has been impossibly hard and we never saw it coming.

BUT.  We know that GOD is our anchor, our firm place, and our refuge.

He is working good in our hearts and in this situation, and He is leading us, ultimately, to a place of total dependence on Him.  He is our trust and we know He will be faithful.

We didn’t plan on leaving vocational ministry this year, but God has allowed this to happen and is using this storm to refine us.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful that God is the anchor of my soul.

“So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of His purpose, He guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek” (Hebrews 6:17-20), emphasis mine.

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