There have been a lot of posts in the blogosphere about “mommy wars” lately… i.e., when moms compare themselves to other moms and either 1) try really hard to keep up with and measure up to what they perceive to be the standard of “what good moms do,” or they 2) wallow in a hopeless state, feeling like they could never possibly achieve what other moms they know (through blogs or real life) seem to do with ease.

I personally tend more towards the first pitfall.  I think that my house should look like Sherry’s, that I should be able to write amazing posts like Kate, that I should take gorgeous photos of my children like Drea, and that I should make super-healthy real food like Wardeh or Lisa that tastes as delicious as Ree’s cooking.  Meanwhile, my living room should look magazine-worthy like Nester’s, and I should be creating clever projects like Jen, Ashley, and Laura.  When I start homeschooling, it should look as idyllic as Ann’s days and be as fun and hands-on as Kelly’s. 

Two other friends of mine posted recently about some of the areas where they aren’t perfect.  In keeping with that theme of honesty, here are some ways I’m not “supermom” either:

– I have a love/hate relationship with sewing; I love the results, but hate the process. I usually cry at least once when working on a sewing project.
– I can’t keep plants alive. I really can’t understand why someone would enjoy gardening.
– I don’t vacuum. (Tad does. But usually we only think about it when company is coming over.)
– I am terrible at keeping in touch with anyone who is not sitting next to me at this very moment. I wish I were better at maintaining friendships.
– In the two years (!) we have lived at this house, I have not once cleaned my oven.
– I honestly cannot remember the last time I cleaned our shower.
– Speaking of showers, I don’t get to take one every day!
– I get ants in my kitchen sometimes. Having a toddler makes our floor an ant smorgasbord, so I can’t say I’m surprised. 
– For some reason, I feel a strong need to save every empty toilet paper tube. I have some hoarding tendencies, I think.
– I’m really bad at getting stains out of clothing.
– I rarely coupon.
– I have never been able to successfully do a Citra-solv fabric transfer, even though it seems like every other blogger in the world has.
– I will do everything humanly possible to avoid ironing. (I have ironed hems with my hair straightener to avoid dragging out my iron and board.)
– We sometimes get fast food or takeout when life is really busy (or I really don’t want to cook).

Some of these areas are ones that I need to work on.  (Friendships are important. Keeping a home that won’t end up on Hoarders is important.)  Other areas are ones that I probably need to let go of and realize that I can’t excel at everything.  (Maybe sewing just isn’t my thing.)

I also need to let go of unreal expectations that are mostly self-inflicted.  I can’t possibly do all of the things accomplished by every woman on the blogs I read.  That’s because no one does.  All of those amazing, talented women I mentioned have their own strengths and abilities, and you and I have ours as well.

The sooner we all realize that, the sooner the “mommy wars” can end.