Feathers in Our Nest

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Hospitality Basics

June 27, 2013 by Aliesha


This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.

While you can certainly show hospitality on paper plates (I encourage doing this often!), it actually becomes more cost-effective over time to invest in some great dishes and serving pieces for showing hospitality.  Here are my top picks for the basics!  (I won’t call these essentials because you don’t have to have them in order to practice hospitality… but they are nice to collect over time!)

-Dishes
To start with, buy enough to serve as many people as your dining room will hold.  (Work up to this over time if money is tight.)  For me, this is sixteen.  Sixteen people in my dining room is totally pushing it, but we’ve done it twice (once for a ladies Bible study dinner and once for a youth Christmas party).  I recommend and use white Corelle dishes.  I bought most of mine at an outlet store before we got married and the rest were a gift.  I have two patterns (plain white and white with a raised swirl design), and no one cares that they aren’t a perfect match (I actually like the look!).

-Silverware
Buy enough to serve as many people as your dining room will hold.  We received lovely flatware as a wedding present, and it is one of our most-used gifts!

-Glasses
Buy enough to serve as many people as your dining room will hold.  I’m still working on getting up to sixteen matching glasses, but I have twelve that match plus another similar set I could use in a pinch.  I like the $4.79/6 red wine glasses from IKEA.  They are lovely for serving ice water and they are SO cheap that if one breaks it’s just no big deal.

-Bread basket
Useful for chips, bread, rolls, or buns, this can be as simple as a basket from the dollar store lined with a napkin, or it can be something fancier (handmade basket, fabric liner, etc.).  I just use a simple basket lined with a colorful paper napkin.

-Serving platters
I’ve been collecting white serving platters so that I would have the appropriate sized plate/platter to serve food on.  I love getting serving pieces as gifts, so I’ve acquired some that way as well.

-Serving dishes
I was blessed to receive a whole bunch of beautiful white serving/casserole dishes when we got married, so I definitely put those to work on a regular basis!  Dishes with handles are great for serving meals family-style.

-Water pitcher
I like to leave the water pitcher on the table so that refills are easy.  I have several beautiful pitchers that are appropriate for almost any gathering.  I also have some plastic pitchers for more casual gatherings.

-Cloth or paper napkins
We use cloth napkins all the time at home, so I often use those when we have company too.  But because some people aren’t used to using cloth napkins (and it causes parents of kids to stress out a little bit), I often use cute paper napkins too.  This is a fun way to add some color or seasonal inspiration to your table!

-Trivets
I use swirly “wrought-iron” trivets and green woven trivets to keep hot dishes off the table.  The woven trivets are useful for passing dishes as well, since they can act as a potholder.

-Tablecloths
Depending on your “style,” tablecloths can be a nice addition to your hospitality collection.  I have a really
long table, so it’s a little harder to find tablecloths that are long enough.  I have a few in neutral colors that I use regularly (the white one is my favorite), but I don’t always use a tablecloth.

-Decorative items
I like to have a pretty centerpiece on the table that is appropriate for the season and the occasion.  I usually just utilize items I have on hand (candles, vases, a pretty cloth napkin, etc.).  Sometimes I can afford to get some fresh flowers for the table.  Of course, if you garden, you can use flowers more often than I can!  In the fall I will use a pumpkin and some beautiful leaves.  I like to bring in holly or evergreen branches in the wintertime.  Get creative using what you have, but also watch for clearance sales after holidays when you can pick up pretty seasonal items on the cheap.

Here are a few of my favorite places to shop for the above items:
-IKEA (glasses, paper napkins, candles, vases)
-Ross (serving platters and dishes, tablecloths, decorative items)
-T.J. Maxx (baskets, serving platters and dishes, decorative items)
-Marshall’s (serving platters and dishes, decorative items)
-Home Goods (paper napkins, baskets, serving platters and dishes, pitchers, decorative items)
-Target (silverware, cloth napkins, serving dishes, pitchers, decorative items)
-Dollar Tree (baskets, woven trivets, some seasonal decorative items)

Where are your favorite places to shop for these hospitality basics?

Filed Under: frugal living, hospitality, ministry

Hospitality: The Conversation

June 26, 2013 by Aliesha


This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.

A reader submitted this question to me:

I wanted to put in a post request if I could — could you talk about what should actually occur during a get-together {besides eating}? Meaning, what should we talk about? And, how do you know the evening was a “success”? What is the goal or purpose of hospitality — other than giving of your time, resources, etc.? You touched on it a bit, but was hoping you could go into a bit more detail. In particular, you talked about building community and sharing our lives. Do you have any thoughts on when your guests don’t reciprocate with an invitation to their homes or when you just rarely see them after they’ve come over and the “building” and “sharing” stop?

Great questions!

What should we talk about?
If it’s a family/individual/couple you don’t know very well, start with basic “get-to-know you” questions.  Examples: Where did you grow up? For a couple: How did you meet? What is your occupation? What are some of your hobbies? What books are you reading? What brought you to such-and-such church? Where did you grow up?  Do you have siblings?
Learn to engage people and ask good follow-up questions.  Keep them talking!  As your relationship progresses, you can ask deeper questions.
Examples: What are some lessons God taught you through ___ (parenting, job, ministry, etc.)?  Of parents: Do you have any parenting advice for me regarding ___ (an issue you’re currently dealing with with your kids)? What is God currently teaching you?
Something my parents have done over the years is ask: How can we be praying for you? as the evening draws to a close.  Whether you have a prayer time at the end of your visit is up to you, but just asking this simple question can really help you get to a deeper level with the people you are showing hospitality towards.  I know I need to be more intentional about doing this!

How do you know the evening was a “success”?
If you’re just starting out showing hospitality, just doing it is a success!  But regarding the conversation, I would say that if you feel like you’ve gotten to know the other person or family better during the evening, it is a success.  If you have been a blessing to someone else, it is a success.

What is the goal of hospitality?
I think there are several goals of hospitality.  First, it demonstrates obedience to God’s command.  Secondly, it should be a blessing to the recipient.  They should feel Christ’s love in a tangible, physical way.  Thirdly, we want hospitality to be a vehicle through which we share our lives with one another.  By asking how we can pray for one another, we are opening up our hearts and sharing what’s truly going on.  This is something that rarely happens on a Sunday morning chatting after church, but can happen in our homes because of the comfort level and lack of time restraints.

What if they don’t reciprocate?
Sometimes you’ll “click” better than other times.  It’s okay if you get together with someone once but they don’t invite you over in return.  We give in order to bless others, not to receive something back.  If there is a strong connection, it’s fine to invite them again even if they haven’t invited you to their home.  This is more about biblical love than about social convention.

Your turn… what are some questions you like to ask people when getting to know them better?

Filed Under: hospitality, ministry

Church Planting

May 23, 2013 by Aliesha

Today I’m excited to “officially” share with you the new direction in ministry that God is taking Tad and our family!

For about a year, we have been feeling called on from youth ministry and have been pursing other ministry opportunities, though we have continued to serve in our current church.  Six months ago, Tad’s heart was burdened for church planting as we have both realized the need for solid new churches to be planted here in the United States.  Did you know that North America is the only continent where the church is not growing?

We discovered an exciting program at a nearby church (actually a fairly recent church plant) that trains pastors to plant new churches and equips them to go out with support (spiritual, practical, and financial).  Tad entered into this Church Planting Residency this spring and he has started to receive mentoring, training, and coaching in fundraising.

The Church Planting Residency is not a paid position, so we are raising monthly support from individuals who desire to see the kingdom of God expanded through the ministry of church planting.  Right now Tad is continuing to serve as a full-time Youth and Children’s Pastor at our current church until we raise the funds we need to be in the residency full-time.  He also works part-time as a waiter, so this is a very busy season for our family!

We are trusting God to continue to lead us as we raise funds to church plant and as we pray about where God is leading our family to plant a new church.  These are exciting times and we are thankful to be heading in this direction!

Filed Under: milestones, ministry, Tad

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