This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.
One of the biggest lies we believe as women is that everyone else “has it all together.” Everyone else’s homes are always clean, everyone else cooks amazing meals every night, everyone else’s kids never throw tantrums, and everyone else has time to read, paint their toenails, do craft projects, and redecorate their home.
As I’ve talked to women about showing hospitality, one of the big things that came up was a feeling of insecurity based on their perception about how “together” everyone else seems to be. I’m sure women throughout history have dealt with this, but I think our social-media-saturated culture today adds its own challenges. As we scroll through Facebook feeds, Pinterest, Instagram, and blogs, we’re only seeing “the good stuff” that people choose to share with the world.
When we invite people into our homes, we invite them into our “mess”… our paper piles, our un-swept bathrooms, and our imperfect children. This actually brings us closer, because we realize that no one has it all together like we’ve imagined they do. It frees us to extend grace to one another and to be real in sharing our struggles. As we practice hospitality, it opens us up to share more of ourselves with one another.
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The way you practice hospitality will look different from your friends. I love to set a pretty table and present food with flair, but my house will never be as clean as some of my friends’ homes. That’s okay! We need to evaluate ourselves as God sees us, and stop expecting that we have to be the best of what we see in each of our friends (real or virtual).
Challenge for this week: Identify how you tend to compare yourself with others (your cooking vs. theirs, your home vs. hers, etc.). Pray that God would set you free from the trap of comparison so that you can be free to serve Him through hospitality!
i think i feel like i “have a reputation” to keep. every one thinks my home and children are always perfect, so when i don’t have time to prepare for company… i panic. my pride gets in the way and i don’t want people to see that i don’t really have it all together. neither my home, nor my children, are ever perfect- let me clarify that, but i have a prideful nature that wants people to perceive it that way. ugh… i hate my sin, so why can’t i seem to get rid of it??? 🙂
I can totally relate to that feeling! Thanks for your honesty.
This is such a great series you are doing! Hospitality is definitely important in our Christian ministry. I am so guilty of all the examples listed as excuses. I love having people over and when they leave none of those “excuses” matter. Sinfully, they still go through my head and have prevented me from being more of a hostess. I love the positive encouragement and it is one of my goals to do more hosting. I love the ideas you shared in the most recent post. All wonderful opportunities to share Gods word and be blessed by the fellowship he has given us. Thank you for encouraging me! ~Jen
Jen, Thanks for your comment! I agree… once our guests arrive, none of those excuses seem to matter anymore! It’s just about getting up the courage to DO it!