Combating the Excuses that Prevent Hospitality

This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.

I’m learning I’m not alone in making excuses to exercising hospitality!  All of my friends (and many of my readers) struggle with this as well.

I’ve compiled a list of common excuses we tend to make, as well as the truth to combat those excuses!  God wants us to exercise hospitality, so join me in removing all the excuses that keep us from it!

Home Cleanliness
(this is the #1 thing I hear from other women)
Excuses we tell ourselves:
“My house is not clean enough.”
“I feel like my house is never clean and I worry people will talk about me (i.e. say I’m a bad housekeeper).”
“I want everything to be clean and perfect before people come over.”
“I feel overwhelmed with unexpected visitors because my house isn’t picked up.”
The truth:
The fact that I am having people in my home is more important than having a perfectly clean house.  As long as I expect perfection, I probably won’t be able to minister through hospitality.  True friends will care about the fellowship and not about whether the shower has been scrubbed or the fridge has been cleaned out.
Practical help:
Lightly clean just the main rooms that will be seen by guests (living room, dining room, kitchen), close the doors to the rest of the rooms, and don’t give a house tour!  I’ll be sharing much more on this point in a future post.

Space
Excuses we tell ourselves:
“We live in a small apartment and don’t have a lot of room to host get togethers.”
“I don’t have a big enough table or enough chairs or enough glasses or…”
The truth:
My home is exactly the size God wants it to be and He will give me the creativity to find ways of showing hospitality in the home He has given me.
Practical help:
Be creative in utilizing your space.  Example: invite people over for ice cream (you can sit on the floor around your coffee table) and card games.  You don’t have to have a huge dinner party.  Maybe just have a friend over for coffee!  I’ll share more ideas for this issue in a future post.

Busyness/Time
Excuses we tell ourselves:
“We are always on the go and feel exhausted with the idea of having people over.”
“We stay pretty busy that sometimes when we have a night at home I just want to be together as a family instead of showing hospitality.”
The truth:
Busyness does not equal godliness.  If we’re too busy to open our homes up to one another, we might be too busy.  While family time is vitally important, it is also important to stretch ourselves out of our (sometimes selfish) comfort zone and show love towards people who don’t live inside the four walls of our home.
Practical help:
Prioritize scheduling get togethers.  Get a date written on the calendar before it fills up.

Children
Excuses we tell ourselves:
“I have small children so it makes hospitality challenging.  I can’t get the house picked up AND have a meal ready at the same time! Maybe I should wait until my kids are older to start having people over.”
The truth:
Now is the time!  There will always be something challenging about the season you are in at present (nap schedules, early bedtimes, extracurricular activities, etc.).
Practical help:
Keep it simple.  Don’t expect to be able to cook fancy meals at this season.  Don’t expect your house to be perfectly spotless.  Say “yes” when your guest offers to bring something!  I’ll be expounding on this issue in a future post.

Not Martha (Stewart)
Excuses we tell ourselves:
“I can’t even set a table “right,” much less cook amazing company-worthy meals.”
“I feel like I don’t measure up to magazines or ideas I see on Pinterest.”
The truth:
God expects us to be faithful to show hospitality, not that we use linen tablecloths, serve meals in silver dishes, or have fresh flowers on our mantle.  We are not seeking to impress others; we are seeking to serve and build relationships.
Practical help:
Don’t compare yourself or your home with what you see in magazines, on blogs, or on Pinterest.  Use the gifts God has given you to make your guests as welcome as possible.  Make a meal your family loves… don’t try some fancy new recipe that might flop.  Release yourself to eat on paper plates or serve hot dogs to guests.  It’s okay!  (If you’re looking for simple ideas, I’m pinning some to my hospitality board on Pinterest.)

source

Money
Excuses we tell ourselves:
“Our budget is so tight we can hardly feed our family on $__/week, and I don’t know how we could possibly feed more people.”
“Our guests probably expect steak, and I just can’t afford to serve that.”
The truth:
Our guests don’t expect steak.  God will provide for our family’s needs AND give us the ability to give to others.  We can’t out-give God!
Practical help: 
Serve simple meals that your family loves.  Stretch meals with inexpensive ingredients (rice, bread, etc.) so that no one leaves hungry.  Say “yes” when a guest offers to bring something to contribute to the meal!  I’ll share some great (frugal) menu ideas in an upcoming post.

In the next post in this series, we’ll talk about the danger of comparison!