This post is part of my ongoing series on hospitality.
I know that having young children (under school-age) can be a hindrance for a lot of us in showing hospitality. I’ve definitely used it as an excuse before! But our lives are only going to get busier in some ways (extracurricular activities, evening commitments, homeschooling, etc.), so we need to learn how to make hospitality a priority now!
Here are a few things I’ve been learning as I have endeavored to show hospitality while having two under two, plus another one on the way.
Keep your menu simple, in the sense that you can prepare food ahead of time in the days leading up to your dinner/gathering/party. I like to make dishes that can be done the day before or the morning of so that I am not rushing around in the afternoon or early evening.
Just clean the important areas of your home. For me, that’s our living room, dining room, kitchen, and guest bathroom. If the rest of the house isn’t in perfect condition (ha!), it’s okay. I try to get the girls’ room clean too, but if that doesn’t happen, I don’t stress.
Utilize naptime if your children still take an afternoon nap. Do what you can while they are awake, then buzz around the house as soon as they go down for their nap.
Prep your children beforehand about your guests who are coming. If they know them already, help them get excited about showing hospitality! If they don’t know them, still show excitement about their arrival. When we recently had another family over with children similar in age to ours, I let Vera know that the kids were coming to play with her toys. 🙂 I reminded her of the time that we went to their house and how the kids shared their toys with her. I told her that it pleases Jesus when we share our toys with our guests. I also told her that one of her friends would be sitting in her booster seat, and that she needed to share that too. By doing all this “prep work” about sharing toys and seats, it helped make her more willing to be gracious to our friends when they arrived later that day.
As your children are able, let them be involved in showing hospitality! Let them help by making placecards, drawing a picture for your guest, picking up their toys, stirring the cookie dough, carrying the bread basket to the table, greeting guests at the door, or socializing with guests while you pour drinks for everyone. As they get older (early elementary), they can help prepare components of the meal, answer the door, set the table, take drink orders, and clear the table. With proper training, your child can be your “right hand man/woman” by the time they are in upper elementary school.
Encourage good manners in your children, but be realistic about your expectations. Training has to begin before company comes. Your goal isn’t to impress anyone with your perfect children, but to invite them to come and share life with you.
During dinner, we usually allow our girls to be excused from the table early while the adults continue eating or talking. (At family meals, they have to wait until everyone is finished and Tad has dismissed them.) We let them go play (with the other children, if our guests brought children) and then come back to the table for dessert. Periodically an adult leaves the table to go check on the kids and/or referee an argument, but for the most part, we can enjoy adult conversation while the children play. Last night when we had company, my girls totally messed up the living room after dinner, but it was worth it so we could talk without interruptions. If you have very young children, they can sit in bouncy seats, walkers, etc. while you visit.
I don’t mind at all excusing myself for a few minutes to put the girls to bed. Sometimes we let them stay up (if our company will be staying until 8:30 or so), but if the visit will be longer, I excuse myself and put them to bed around their normal time (7:00ish).
Finally, consider the list of ways to show hospitality and see if any of those will be more “do-able” for you in this season than hosting dinner in your home.
There are definitely days I regret inviting people over as I feel like everything is going wrong with three little ones. But I am always blessed when people have come and gone and glad that I did it!
I feel that way too!
I have shown hospitality twice this week!!! Such an improvement for me. I even served leftovers to my friend and her kids, when normally I would have made a fun/fancy lunch to serve. She didn’t even care that there were water spots on the bathroom mirror, or toothpaste residue in the sink from that morning. Ahhh… it is kind of freeing. 🙂
Yay, Liz! That’s so awesome!
I don’t have kids yet, but still love to be as prepared ahead of time as I can be (as my days are usually pretty full)… would you mind sharing a couple of your “make ahead” recipes? I don’t really have very many of those so I’d love to have more to choose from! Thanks 🙂
I plan on sharing some easy, make ahead recipes in this series. 🙂
That’s great! Thanks 🙂 Looking forward to them!
if you have friends who are good with kiddos, ask them to come over a bit early to hang out with your kiddos while you finish dinner prep. not only do the kids love having someone new to play with, it also helps you in the last 20-30 minutes of dinner prep, the time that i usually find most hectic. we do this each week for our community group: a couple of our friends come over a bit early while i finish the last part of making dinner for the group.
also, be realistic: i often feel like my house needs to look perfect, but i have learned to let go even if its a complete mess when people come over. its good for people to see that you live a REAL life, one that comes with scattered toys and dusty shelves rather than a magazine-cover perfect house.
These are all great tips!