Certainly spending the last almost-3-1/2 years either pregnant or breastfeeding has not been easy.
Being sick in the first trimester with each pregnancy and still having to cook for my family has not been easy.
Two natural births with pretty much no paid meds wasn't easy.
Having engorgement, clogged ducts, and mastitis while nursing wasn't easy.
Parenting two under two and (starting in September-ish) parenting three kids three and under is definitely not an easy task.
But getting pregnant has been easy for us so far, and I tend to carry some feelings of guilt about it.
Why would God allow us to conceive so easily when others have been trying for months or years?
Why would God fill our arms with children while the arms of my friends ache for just one baby?
We adamantly believe that God is the author of life and that He is the One who opens and closes the womb. We trust this... really, we do.
But it's just hard some days when I know that friends are trying to conceive, and I have yet another healthy baby growing inside me.
I'm sure I have blog readers I don't even know are struggling in this way too. Just know that I hurt for you as well, and that you are deeply loved.
It is my prayer that you would come to trust, along with me, that God is the One who brings life into this world, and that His timing and sovereign plan are perfect.
"My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."