Thank you for including me in your
series on hospitality! I do think it is an important area in
God's eyes and in the life of our church families.
Having graduated our last child from
our homeschool in spring of 2012, I am now a full-time homemaker, mom
of one community college student who lives at home, of one college
student who is away at school, and of one daughter who is married and
mother to our sweet grand-girlies.
My husband works out of our home and
has a very erratic (or shall we say, "flexible"!) schedule,
and is always coming and going. Though my days are still quite
full of service and projects and meals and laundry (some things
don't change!) , I do praise God for this new season of my
life which affords me time to invest in the lives of others in
ways that were more limited when I was educating my children full
time.
Some of the ways I currently practice
hospitality: (and, again, I am at a season where I can do more)
- Taking meals to those who have
been hospitalized, are moving or who have new babies
- Having couples and families
from our church over for dinner
- Extending hospitality to my
sons' friends/roommates (including Phillip's Malaysian roommate, who
has spent several of his school breaks with us ;-)
- Keeping the children of some of
our church leaders so they can have a date night
- Hosting ladies' events like
baby showers, special birthday gatherings and luncheons
- Having a friend over for lunch
- (and soon, I hope) having one
friend-couple over for a really nice dinner on an evening when our
son attends a Bible study
How does this look different NOW than
it did when your children were small?
First of all, a little-known fact
(except by those who know me well), I do not attempt to keep an
immaculate house. I seek to keep an organized house...and
sometimes succeed for a short time...then I have to start all over!
I seek mainly to meet the need of the moment. If there are some
children to babysit or have over, I throw a big quilt over my messy
craft table and area, so they aren't tempted to get into it. If
there are outside-of-the-home commitments for a short season, other
things may fall apart for while..and then I have to take care of
them. I try to have our home serve us...rather than be a slave
to our home and its upkeep.
So, that attitude has allowed me to
practice hospitality even when my house was not perfectly clean or
neat. 'Cuz I'm sure it never was--at least not all of it!
I don't give house tours when people come over. (In fact, I'd
really rather not even give house tours when selling our house!!)
I do think it is important (both for
your family's sake) and to encourage you to have others over to have
some sort of cleaning schedule...to that the basics (vacuuming,
floors, bathrooms) get taken care of weekly (or as close to that as
you can manage.) And, to continually think about problem areas
in your home and how you can fix them/make them better. I
highly recommend
The Messy's Manual by
Felton,
Clutter's Last Stand by Don Aslett and the
flylady site. Remember...if something doesn't have a function in your home or add
to its beauty, you probably need to get rid of it!
In some ways (as I ponder and look
back), it actually seems like it was easier to have people over when
the children were pre-schoolers, than once life gets busier with
school and extracurricular activities. And, easier as far as
energy when you are 28 than when you are 50-something.;-) I
guess what I want to say is that there will always be challenges to
having folks over and you have to try to overcome those
challenges...and sometimes just wait for things to even out so you
can start having people over once again. (My daughter was
bemoaning not having many people over in Jan thru March...I reminded
her she was enduring her first trimester of pregnancy during that
time and that taking care of her hubby and babies was enough!!)
I know that the last few years of
homeschooling were incredibly busy for us...and me in particular, and
we did not have whole families over very much. We hosted our
children's friends, and we had couples and extended family over...and
we fellowshipped with friends in other venues besides our home
(soccer games, church dinners, sometimes dessert in a restaurant),
but hospitality was a little different during those years than in
past years.
Right now, I am painting our family
room and the basement is close to a disaster. I am just hoping
that the painting and, then, re-organizing goes well and quickly
since I have several things coming up (a baby shower for a close
friend, family visiting in early June, my son coming home from
college, etc) and I am anxious to get this project done. I
can't foresee having any families over till it is done...but we might
be able to do the couples dinner.
My main counsel is "Keep it
simple" and "Just do it" -- 'cuz you'll be glad you
did!! Many of our closest relationships come from having those
people in our home. Let people love you for who you really are
in this season...dirt in the corners at times, toys strewn across the
floor, hamburgers instead of steaks, paper plates instead of fine
china....and enjoy those you want to get to know!!
Entertaining enslaves...it seeks to
impress...it demands perfection. Hospitality puts away
pride...it seeks to serve...it puts people before things. It
says, "We don't have a big table...can we eat with our plates on
our laps?" Hospitality whispers "What is mine, is
yours." ***
What is one of your most memorable
gatherings/parties/times of fellowship? What made it special?
Can I give a few instead of just one??!
Hosting our son's college
roommate (who is a piano major who is from Malaysia) for almost all
of his college breaks for the last two years. Having another
person in your home can be a challenge (we had previously hosted
young men in the summer from France and also Spain, so we knew a
little of what that can be like)...but we have experienced great joy
in getting to know Caeleb...and ALSO his parents (through email)
They even pray for us!! How cool is that?! We now feel
that we have "family" on the other side of the
world...and we hope they feel that way also. We have
enjoyed the lovely music Caeleb has shared with us (his is an
accomplished pianist!), we have enjoyed getting to know about his
country and culture and, most importantly, we have enjoyed getting to
know HIM. He is a neat young man with a heart for serving and
seeking God and it has been a privilege from God to host him. A
BIG blessing that we could've missed out on if we weren't willing to
s-t-r-e-t-c-h a little.
Next, as far as memorable and special
would have to be some ladies' teas/luncheons that have been very
special in my life (one my daughter and hubby gave for me) and in the
lives of some close friends. I love girly things like decorated
tables, china teacups, favors and petit fours!! True
treasure-times! Milestone birthdays deserve SPECIAL
celebrations!
Two incredibly wonderful memories from
Aliesha's high school years are:
A MYSTERY DINNER for her (15th?)
Birthday--Written up on
this site (scroll down and look on along the
right-hand side for "Benzinger") We had SUCH a fun
evening...complete with a four-course meal!!
ALIESHA'S GRADUATION PARTY
We had a day-long party with beloved
adult friends from our church, family and out-of-town friends, and
then, in the evening an outdoor picnic with a whole bunch of her
friends. We had lovely spring weather, volleyball, yummy foods
and great fellowship with the sweet young people with whom Aliesha
was friends. A truly "magical" day!
"Everyday" memories include
sweet friends who share their heart over coffee or late into the
night when they are visiting from out of town. Games played
with other families....boys (and their Dad) running through the
house shooting NERF guns....crafts done with little
friends....prayers prayed with those we love.
WHAT a GIFT God gives us when we open
our homes!!
What advice would you give for showing
hospitality while on a budget?
Don't feel as if you have to make all
the food. Take people up when they offer to bring
something---OR just ask them even if they don't offer! Think of
having people over as something worth sacrificing other things for.
(It's probably around the price of two movie tickets...or a new DVD
or CD.) Pray for God to provide what you need (He delights in
doing that!) Keep your menus simple. You can have
wonderful times of fellowship with inexpensive menus!!
What are some of your "tried and
true" menu ideas for gatherings/meals in your home?
Try to serve as much as you can that
you can make ahead, so that right before people come, you won't be
quite so busy. I often make an extra lasanga or cassole when I
am making one, so I can stick one in the freezer.
When the children were younger, we
would have several families each bring a large dish and we would
provide the main dish and ice cream/dessert.
Shish kabobs & rice;
Spaghetti/Lasagna & salad and bread; Soups/Casseroles/Chili &
Bread; Hamburgers/Cheesy Potatoes; Mexican/Tacos/Red Beans &
Rice are all good menu choices.
Grilled meat, baked potatoes, and salad
make a lovely and easy meal.
Pork BBQ, Potato Salad (or chips),
fresh veggies, dessert.
Baked potatoes with chili and
toppings...brownies and ice cream for dessert.
How about just an ice cream-and-games
night?
How about just a popcorn and dessert
night? (I hear my hubby saying a hearty "AMEN!")
How about a breakfast menu night,
complete with pancakes?
Do you have any other pieces of wisdom
you'd like to share with the younger women reading this blog?
I just encourage each of you to
make time and effort for the PEOPLE in your life that God has given
you to invest in and to encourage. People are ETERNAL!
PRAY with those who you have over!! God will knit your hearts
tightly together!
You will not regret the energy and time
you take to extend hospitality (even if you are like me and delight
more in creative activities OUTside of the kitchen.) Read
tips from those experienced in hospitality and learn from them!
Start small...start simple...pray that God leads you and blesses your
efforts...God never asks us to do something without equipping
us!! JUST DO IT!
Excerpt from this book:
When I look at hospitality as practiced
in the Word, I have a convicting sense of open homes--open lives,
shared tables, ready comfort for weary travelers wandering on
dangerous missions in their work for the Kingdom. The theme
begins in the early records of the church, "And, day by
day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their
homes, they partook of food with glad and generous hearts, praising
God and having favor with all the people." (Acts 2:46, 47)
Thank you so much, Mom, for sharing your wisdom and practical advice with us today!!
